[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane

Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Lost In ConfusionLost In Confusion

My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?

The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..

Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?

I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo

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More from ~AlternativeZumWahn

alte GedankenEs regnet. Der Himmel weint.
Weint er um mich, oder um dich? Ich weiß es nicht.
Ich ignoriere es, höre nicht auf das Lied, das er singt.
Der Schmerz über den Verlust ist zu groß,
sitzt zu tief, als dass ich etwas anderes fühlen könnte.

Ich sitze hier auf dieser einsamen Parkbank
und starre in den schwarzen Nachthimmel.
Keine Sterne, kein Licht will sich mir zeigen.
Versinke in meiner eigenen Finsterniss,
ohne die Hoffnung jemals wiederzusehen.

Ich höre mein Herz schlagen bis zum Hals
während ich mir ausmale, wie es hätte sein können,
wenn nicht alles so furchtbar schief gelaufen

die LeereWieder brechen bittre Schauer
von oben herab aus dunkler Mauer.
Wie der Engel mit einem Flügel der weint,
weil ihm das Fliegen unmöglich erscheint,
fühl ich mich ungehörig zu meinem Ort,
doch von da wo ich bin,
komm ich niemals fort.

Könnte dich um Hilfe bitten in meiner Not,
doch im Innern bin ich schon lange tot.
Deswegen ist mir mein Dasein völlig egal,
hätt ich auch zwei Flügel, träfst du deine Wahl.
Sie wäre gewiss ohne mich und mein Herz
und so bleiben nur Einsamkeit und Schmerz.

Nun sitz ich allein hier und träume was wäre,
wache auf und fühle nur Leere.

Ich, MonsterAbfuck.

Standart dieser Tage. Für mich.
Betrachte mein Spiegelbild und fange an zu morphen.
Seh' kurz aus wie mein Tucker.

Ich bin so schockiert, dass ich kotzen muss und übergebe den Magensaft, der mehr der Substanz von Abflussreiniger als menschlichem Innereien-zubehör gleicht in das Waschbecken.

Die erbärmliche Kreatur im Spiegel wiedert mich an
und Tag für Tag tue ich alles, damit es so bleibt.

Warum? Fuck it, wer weiß schon warum.
Was ist das überhaupt für eine frage?

Ich beschließe, dass es an der Zeit ist, den Tag zu beenden,
doch bevor ich das Badezimmer verlasse,
schlage ich mi

HerzenfresserVerquer.
Obwohl ich dich nicht mehr liebe,
ja, nicht mal mehr mag,
will ich, dass du auf Ewig nur mich siehst.

Ich will die Einzige sein,
für jetzt und alle Zeit,
die dir jemals so wichtig gewesen ist.

Ich will, dass sich die Liebe in dein Herz frisst
und wenn sie geht, soll sie ein Stück herausreissen,
auf dass es für immer fehlt und brennt.
für mich

Ich geh vor die Tür
und du gehst zu Grunde.

meine StimmeDieser Druck in meinem Kopf...
Lässt mich nicht schlafen,
treibt mich in den Wahn.

Es ist die Stille, die mich erdrückt,
ist die Angst, ist Paranoya,
ist Irrsinn.
Ist Alltag.

Es ist die Stimme, tief in mir,
die langsam lauter wird,
fast schreit.
Ist die Unzufriedenheit,
ist der Frust,
ist die Welt um mich herum.

Sie will heraus, will lauter sein als ich.
Will es herausschreien,
den Wahnsinn und den Hass.
In dein Gesicht,
Welt.

In euer aller Gesichter will sie spucken
und sich Gehör verschaffen.

Warte, Stimme, noch ein klein wenig.
Bald ist deine Zeit.

In meinem KopfAuf dem Rücken des Windes reiten.
Tausend endlose Sommer erleben mit dir.
Mit den Fischen schwimmmen,
ohne je Luft holen zu müssen.
Das Feuer in Händen halten,
ohne sich zu verbrennen.

Sehen, was niemand vor mir sah.

Bitte, Realität, tritt mich nicht so hart
mit deinen Alltags- und Gewohnheitsfüßen.

Lass mich nie den Blick verlieren,
für das Schöne, das Traurige,
das Verrückte und für das Aussergewöhnliche.

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Submitted: December 2, 2012
File Size: 498 bytes

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schritte

by ~AlternativeZumWahn, Dec 2, 2012, 11:43:11 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Als ich noch klein war,
dachte ich:
"Ich möchte groß sein.
Dann kann ich größere Schritte tun,
komme voran
und kann großes bewirken."

Jetzt bin ich erwachsen
und merke,
dass alles groß sein
und große Schritte machen,
keinen Sinn hat,
wenn man die Richtung nicht weiß...

schritteby ~AlternativeZumWahn

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2012-2013 ~AlternativeZumWahn

~Mimn Mar 3, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

oh ja, das kenn ich: sich ziellos zu fühlen, ist schrecklich [link]
ist zwar nur sehr kurz, aber in der Kürze liegt die Würze

Reply

~AlternativeZumWahn Mar 4, 2013 Hobbyist Artist

jaa solche gedanken haben die leute wohl öfter. aber ich finde es eigentlich durchaus begründet^^

Reply

=lucyfire71 Dec 2, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Weise Worte zum Sonntag Abendbrot!
Sehr schönes Gedicht!

Reply

~AlternativeZumWahn Dec 2, 2012 Hobbyist Artist

danke

Reply

=lucyfire71 Dec 2, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Gerne ^^

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